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Just Because I’m Sexy…

Just Because I’m Sexy…

Just because I’m sexy…

Doesn’t mean I want to have sex with you.  I was walking along the beach today and was approached by a man very boldly expressing that I was the sexiest thing he has seen.  In the past I would have shunned him and his comment awkwardly or taken offense, but my reaction was instead to fully receive his compliment.

The reclaiming of my sexual self has been an interesting process.  I can see clearly now why I suppressed and denied it for so long.  All the unwanted attention owning my sexuality drew in was something I never knew how to deal with.    So instead I learned to deny it; to hide and/or repress my sexiness in order to avoid the pitfalls I associated with it.   When I did receive attention from a man, I would either mistakenly interpret his desire as love – when that was what I wanted from him; or I interpreted it as perverted and creepy – when I was NOT attracted to him.  Either way it never worked out well!

John McMullin, from Journeys of Wisdom (see video below), once said to me that women give sex for love, (and men give “love” for sex).  I find it is true that young women give sex for love, thinking that sharing ourselves in this way, will get us our deepest longing- for unconditional love.  Typically, it does not work out that way and what results is an ultimate loss of self worth.  This sets up an vicious, and often unconscious, cycle that we are doomed to repeat.

Loss of self-worth sends women off looking for love to validate ourselves, which we then project onto the next person we meet, hoping that they will love us if we give them what they want (sex).  When we do give ourselves, whether sexually or energetically, and they continue to treat us with indifference or outright disrespect, we cannot understand why and our self worth diminishes even more.

Thank goodness for the teachers in my life who helped me see and break these destructive patterns!  I am deeply gratefully for those who taught me about SELF-LOVE and boundaries.

Now that I am in my 30’s, I, and many other women I know, am bringing sexy back.  I feel that I have the emotional maturity to handle myself.  I fully embrace and display my fire, and am no longer afraid of, but welcome, the attention it may bring.  I now know how to honor myself and my boundaries.  I stand in my truth, as my authentic self, with full knowing that…

I deserve respect.

I deserve to have sweet, loving, fully supportive relationships.

And I deserve to be adored for the sultry sexy goddess that I am.

Oh and to the nice older gentleman who complimented me today, the answer is NO, I am NOT looking for a sugar daddy, but thank you very much.


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